jacy

Grave Disease....

2008-01-16T16:20:00.000+08:00

Hey, guys... I'm sick again but this time is even more serious... I just found out that I have a disease called the grave disease... It sounds cool, right... Just 2 months before my birthday that I found out that i had this disease and the best part is that I had it since I was a baby and I don't even know it till now.... Haiz... What kind of world is this??? I have to be on long term medication... Out of 15 sypthoms, I have 14 of them.... My doctor told me that her greatest worry is that my white blood cells might decrease and that is definitly not a good sign.... By that time, my neck will swell up and I have to go for operation... Everyone says that I will be fine after the operations, but they are all wrong... My doctor says that i will have relapses so there wont be just 1 scar on my neck but numerous.... And because of this disease, I become a useless person... I can't have a little bit of stress, if not, I would sick.... Then, people will ask me to do work that do not require any mental work... They didn't know that I have no more strength in my limps anymore.... The moment I carry something heavy(used to be very light for me before knowing that I got this disease), my limps will ache, they will be strengthless(for example; can't even pick up a fork)... I feel sad inside but I can't tell anyone because I don't want anyone to worry about me.... So I could only pour my sorrows here.... I sounded so patheic.... Ciao.... Hope that the next time I will post a happy entry and not the one with many bad news....

Work, Work, Work....

2007-04-21T17:30:00.000+08:00

i'm so bored.... i really cant wait till june .... i can go on holiday wif my best fren, ling ling.... this time we r going to 3 places.... 1st is to kl, den to penang and lastly langkawi..... backpacking again.... my favourite.... lolx.... i will b also meeting my malaysia frenz... lolx... they say that they r treating me to seafood..... nice.... i tell them i wanna eat crabbie..... but muz dabao cos outside eat crabbie very ugly..... but as for now... all i need to concentrate on is to work, work and work non stop..... i work 5 1/2 days as an admin staff and on monday, wednesday, thursday, saturday and sunday i need to give tuition.... sob, sob..... i m working everyday.... slogging like a mad woman..... haiz.... but nvm.... after all this troubles, i will b able to relax..... hahahahaha.....

The World Biggest Moron...

2006-11-10T10:58:00.000+08:00

since i tot that having frenz is base in sincerity n trust.... y do ppl had to lie juz to make frenz..... that dun seem the way out u noe...... the moment that ur lies snowball.... it will end u up into a lot of trouble n u might also lose that very fren of urs...... i dun wanna lose any frenz as i noe that frenz are hard to comne by these days..... no matters wat u guys had lied to me, u r still my frenz..... i try to act like a moron n a fool even if i noe that u guys r lying..... i m trying very hard to maintain a friendship..... r u, guys???? i dun wanna get disappointed in u, guys...... believe in me pls, juz like i believe in u guys.....

holiday is in the hse........

2006-07-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

sianz sianz sianz......... it's holiday liao..... wher to go, what to do n where shld i b rite now......... i totally got no idea.... ever since i fire my boss..... i totallly got nth to do.... so sianz..... but now when the holiday is in, i think i might as well go n take a very gd rest n make myuself fatter den ever b4 i go back to sch....i doubt any1 can recongise me from that.... i think that will b my aim which is to stuff myself to death..... if not, i will die of boredom... so wat is the difference..... like that is dying,, like this is also dying..... so come on gif me a break......... let me die in a happier way...... btw any1 out there who noes me, feel free to call me up to go out shopping to cut down some calories...... if u dun 1 me to get too fat...... lolx.... i now also got nth to update liao... i will update again when i noe wat to update.......ok, byeeeee......

CAs Sux.....

2006-06-17T19:17:00.000+08:00

finally jus finish my all 3 CAs..... jus when i that i gonna fail all three of my subjects..... i passed 2 of them wif flying colours...... unbelivable, isn't it....... i got 2 As n 1 b...... FUNNY , RITE? jus when my life got a bit normal like human being, my cca had me as a team leader..... gd thing rite..... but there is jus way too much for me to handle...... den jus when i m getting used to it, the teacher in-charge told me that they r coming up with a post , PRESIDENT, for the CCA....... wat the hack.... i jus pray so hard that the teacher hate me so that she n the other teacher s will not pick me for the post..... if i got the post, i rather die...... i jus pray hard that i continue to b more like a human den a vampire........ or mabyb after when i finished my studies den i will b back to my normal self.....

Back In School....

2006-05-28T08:36:00.000+08:00

yoz... watsup....

it's been a long time that i had not post anything yet.... anyway, i jus got back from my latest trip from malaysia..... it might quite stupid but me n fren travel all the way there by train..... it has given us a very different experience from coach n planes...... we had a great time there..... we even overspent our budget n i even got sick...... so sick..... hahaha tel u guys something, i was suppose to b in sch but i skip sch for the trip.... evil, rite.... hahaha..... anyway i need to thk shawnlane41600625 for reading my blog n leaving a comment.... i was unable to leave a comment for ur blog..... i also do wecome all of u to leave any comment for me, k.... a million thks to all of u out there..... n now i m back in sch n life is still as boring...... cya guys real soon again..... tata.....

killing me softly with the pain........

2005-09-14T19:34:00.000+08:00

yoz...... long time nvr cum backin here to update liao........ haiz...... sianz...... having my wisdom teeth back again....... ya, rite...... u r not cin tis wrongly....... now 2 wisdom teeth at 1 go....... sianz...... the pain is killing n i dunno wat to do........ btw, guys....... i will b having my operation this cumin friday........ sianz......... have to go after my ca....... so stress....... after heard wat my fren had told me....... so scary........ i jus hope that i wont run away when they try to the operation for me........ so, guys..... wish me luck....... i jus dun hope that i die on the surgical bed jus bcos of extracting the 2 stupid wisdom teeth..... i really dunno why they call it the wisdom tooth..... i dun c any wisdom growin in me, instead, i bcum more n more stupid each time...... hahahaha..... jus kidding...... start thinking, guys...... try to change the name of the wisdom tooth...... it shouldn't b cal wisdom..... my suggestion...... thinking of calin it the idiotic tooth..... haha..... how is that for a change........ jus hope that i will haf the will to live after the operation....... hahahaha........

yoz!!!! jacy is back in the house!!!!!!!

2005-07-26T14:03:00.000+08:00

yoz!!!!!! watsup!!!!!! i m finally back!!!!! hahahaha!!!!!!!!!! i had missed my blog for so many mths, so u guys must haf missing me too, rite? hahahaha!!!!!!! a new sch and a new me...... there nth much to talk abt in sch....... haiz....... i also back from my trip for a long time liao, but got no time to update it, cos tooo many things to do....... haiz......

getting along well enough with my new frens........ so many news, and so many gossips....... hahahaha....... and i got so many new nic....... my new frens gif me 1.......... hahahaha........ no more old nic liao........ sianz...... so long time nvr talk to u all liao....... hope to c u all soon...... rmr..... anything jus go ahead n cal me....... bye...... muacks!!!!!!!!!

updating

2005-04-04T17:54:00.000+08:00

it has been a long time that i had not cum into my blog 2 update my entries liao....... den i notice that the time really pass real fast........ jus hate the time....... hahaha........ now i must find a job n wk hard for my next next tour....... no 1 in my family noes abt it....... i jus love travelling around the world so much...... but most of the time go travel secretly 1...... hahaha...... jus hope that none of u out there sell out me out...... k...... when i m back, i surely bring sum gifts back 4 u ........

a whole new yr.... a whole new day....

2005-01-03T20:13:00.000+08:00

wat a new yr..... a lot of things r awaiting for me..... i quit that idiot job of my...... all idiots at my wk place alliance n make me n outcast..... wa lau.... how i wish i could jus kill them 1 by 1..... argh!!!!!! i jus hate them so much now..... i use to patron that restaurant since i was young..... now i will make sure that no 1 will go n patron that lousy restaurant anymore.... the moment they change the management, everything becum so sux...... that in cludes the food too..... so nvr go there n eat.... cos u might get food poisoning from it.....

i found a job.....

2004-12-20T20:44:00.000+08:00

hahahaha..... i having to end my idling life liao...... i jus so hate it..... i aready so use to idling n now i haf to gif up..... i told myself that i m not goin to b a waitress but in the end, i still wk as a waitress..... haiz..... from now on i haf to wk hard for money, money, money...... hahaha....

still enjoying my life......

2004-12-20T01:45:00.000+08:00

i cant still unable to gif up my idling life..... i cant stop playing..... cant stop having fun......

haiz.... who should i go out wif this x'mas..... most of my frens r finding me out..... n every yr i went with the same grp of ppl...... should i change for once? so boring..... every yr all we did is the same..... meet up n haf dinner, den exchange present with each other, den go walk walk at orchard....... n finally, go back hm....... but tis yr we might delay our meeting.... cos one of them has to wk..... until 11..... i can wait till late for her but the other cant.... she is the gdy gal among the three of us..... haiz...... no choice..... we will c when the three of us will b able to make it......

y is life so unfair.....

Sob.... a fren has gone......

2004-12-17T01:13:00.000+08:00

these few days haf no time to update my blog..... sori to those who had visit..... 1 of my frenz had gone to australia to haf a further study in his piano..... i admit that he is very gd at his piano..... i can tel u that he surely can compete with maksim..... i think maksim might even lose to him..... i really hand it to him..... he is the kind of person with brawns and brains..... he really haf the talent to the piano, not forgetting of he is always being late for everything except for his piano...... on that day when we sent him off..... i almost cry.... it is a very touching moment..... i just wish him well and all the best when he is in the australia..... i just hope that he is able to outshine every single 1 of his classmates in australia.....

sway.... after sending him off, sum of us went for breakfast at mac at parkway..... after having our meal.... they rstill able to go back n slp, whereas me had to go n look my nephew for my godmother..... haiz.....

it's my life.....

i hate my life!!!!!

2004-12-03T20:47:00.000+08:00

everything in my life seem to be a misfit...... everything in my life seem to cum in the wrong timing!!!!! i m very tired of this game n i wanna call quits...... i now jus hope that by the next end of the wk i m able to find a job...... life with no money is like a torture..... haiz..... i hate my life!!!!

argh!!!! i m ill again!!!!!

2004-11-26T01:05:00.000+08:00

y m i always fall ill rite after my exams!!!!! darn it!!!! i jus hate it so much!!!!! how i will i m illness free so that i wont fall ill again n again!!!!! i jus hope that i m able to recover asap cos i wanna go out n find a job of my dream...... i think i m dreamin again!!!!! where in the world ppl is able to find a job of their dream!!!!! it is tooo impossible!!!! but no matter wat i still haf to find a job for myself..... it is not for money, it is for me to gain experience...... if got any lobangs, go ahead n contact me........

jobs....jobs.....jobs......life being mistaken......

2004-11-20T01:47:00.001+08:00

wat hell is my com..... i did publish 1 n it did not appear!!!! i haf to redo all to stupid typing again!!!! i jus hope that i m able to find 1 stupid for myself!!!!! i wanna wk easy so my family members told me to wk for them!!!!! of cos , they r from the big companies!!!! a business of their own!!!!! so wat they r rich!!!! i dun wanna depends on family ties to find a job!!!!! i dun wanna be to dependent on them which i used to be!!!!! i was being spoilt n pamper by them!!!!! i was given watever i 1 or need...... i nvr worry about money!!!!!! but now i wanna make a crave of my own!!!! i knew that they dun c me fall..... but here i swear, even if i really fall, i will not find any1 of them for help!!!!!!

jobs....jobs.....jobs......life being mistaken......

2004-11-20T01:47:00.000+08:00

wat is my next step to life???

2004-11-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

i dunno wat to do next!!!! argh!!!! three more papers to go n it will be the end of my life!!!!! i will haf to go n find a new job!!!!! my fren say tat she will recommend me to work with her but she got sack by her boss!!!! wat a joke!!!! now i haf to go n find a job on my own now....... i cant depend on that fren of my...... she is not really that reliable!!!!! haiz!!!!! now i m findin the job now!!!!! i jus hope that i will be able to find a job by then......

stresssss,,,, stressss,,,,,,, stressss!!!!!!!

2004-11-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

y there is stress in this world?!!!!! i jus hate it so much!!!! i jus cant do anything but jus being so bloody damn fed up with everything in this world....... i m so fed up with every1 has done...... even if they did not do anything, i will jus feel like venting my stupid anger on any1 so dun ever try to provoke me....... jus due to the stupid depression, i jus cant slp at nite so i stay up the whole doin nth like i siao gal...... the only 1 person i feel like killing rite now is myself...... how i wish to commit suicide without feeling any pain....... argh!!!!!!! i m in such dilemia......... jus dun judge my stupid spellin cos i dun even bother!!!!!!

worst has yet to come!!!!!

2004-10-29T21:30:00.000+08:00

i tot tat i had the worst but nvr notice tat the stupid o level is cumin!!!!!! wat is stress?!!!!! can any wise man define wat is stress?!!!! it is such a waste of time!!!!!! after having n level and now is the o level!!!!! y cant they put all the examinations altogether, instead of separating them all up!!!!! i had been in sch for so many yrs for so many examinations yet i cant made myself to escape from any1 of them!!!!!!

n tat shinling, can u stop tellin me all the things abt the sch that u r teachin!!!!!! now i can even help u tell every1 wat u told me...... i think u dun need a tape recorder for the things that u told me....... i think u onli need me to tell them can liao.......

what the hell am i doin?!!!!!

2004-10-24T21:52:00.000+08:00

hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! i think that i m goin crazy...... i keep callin the wrong ppl wif the wrong names....... i keep doin the wrong things which i use to get it rite....... y m i so blur like a sotong....... btw the person who gave the comment for yesterday, can u kindly tell me who u r..... thks for the consoling..... i feel only a bit better 2day..... n it jus only for 2day...... cos my cousin jus strike lottery....... hahahaha...... but too bad it is not i win...... if i win, i surely even happier than any1 else......

starting a new life

2004-10-23T22:30:00.000+08:00

trying,trying,trying...... trying my very best to start a very new life...... trying to adapt a life without anything to support myself........ trying my best to study and get the best results........ but i noe tat i m not that kind of material to be in jc....... but today i had been pressurize by my cousin again...... she told me tat no matter wat i had to go to jc if not, i will haf to go wk....... i lead i very different life without my aunt....... with my aunt, they will nvr try to force or pressurize me to do anything which i dun like....... now i had to adapt it....... i dunno how to be a a person who can blend nicely into the society...... i think i will surely die if i was left out there without any help or support....... now i m wondering again..... HOW THE M I GOIN TO START NEW LIFE?!!!!!!! I MIGHT AS WELL DIE!!!!!!

where the hell did my life support gone to???????

2004-10-22T20:40:00.000+08:00

no matter how i still cant find my life support........ where the hell did the photo that i had took wif my aunt.......... that is the only photo that i had with her....... why am i so careless?!!!!!!!! how the hell am i goin to find a new support?!!!!! jus hope that i m able find the solution as soon as possible.......... haiz...... sob.........

rottin my whole life from now on.........

2004-10-17T15:00:00.000+08:00

can any1 of u tell me how m i goin to handle my life from now on when i dun even noe wat to do....... depression was nvr my style of wking.......... i jus had a fight with my mom n i can tell u tat she really noes how to worsen my depression....... she will b the 1st mother in the whole world whom makes her child to loathe her so much......... y cant my family members jus shut their bloody damn traps up?!!!!!! they r really the pain in the ass like my teachers....... after fighting with her, i went out of my hse n tel her that i will not even c her bloody damn face anymore n i jus went out of my hse n went to my granny hse......... i nvr like her n now she even makes me loathe her even more....... if she is not goin to give me any allowance, den so b it........ i will not die without any money....... it will b even better that i die, den she dun haf to c my bloody damn and me 2....... now i decided to move out of that bloody damn hse n i jus hope tat no idiots is goin to pester me anymore.......

depression has overtake my life

2004-10-16T19:59:00.000+08:00

nvr in my life, i had depression..... i hate my life....... i lost the most important thing in my whole life!!!!!!!! the 1 and only photo tat i had took with my benefactor, my aunt..... i rack my bloody damn brain but i still couldnt find that photo....... nobody in my family noes that i got depression cos i didnt decide to tell........ i tryin to keep it to myself but i couldnt........ i had aready tell 3 of my friends........ they r kind enough to cheer me up....... so not to disappoint them, i at least try to force myself to smile......... sum ppl may think that i m crazy( which i think i m)........ it was the only support of my life and i jus couldnt keep it safely........ i m really bloody clumsy and stupid......... i try not to stress myself out but i still fail...... i really dunno wat to do with my life.......... i hate ppl tellin me their secrets........ i dun even noe who to tell....... if i only have the chance to kill myself........ btw when u r giving my any comments....... pls do list a few kinds of killing myself......... thks..........

what had happen to my world???????

2004-10-12T15:00:00.000+08:00

now i m pretty damn bored with my life!!!!!!! i dunno wat m i goin to do!!!! ppl in my family kept telling me to go to jc when i m not the kind of material to go to jc!!!!!! all the stupid stress that they r giving r huge which they dun even noe!!!!! n that stupid shinling kept telling me all the rubbish that she had happen to her in the sch!!!!!! sum times i dun even noe wat the hell r all the ppl thinkin cos i hate sch!!!!! the stupid sch seems to be my greatest nemesis!!!!! that's y if any1 ask me wat i fear most, it will be it!!!!!!! i always try to avoid those questions they ask me abt sch!!!!!! i cant stand hearing this word 'school'!!!!!!!! the teachers in the sch r such pain in the ass!!!!!! sumtimes cant even make out wat the hell they r talkin abt!!!!!! they seem to be so caring when actually they r wearing this bloody fake n ugly mask!!!!!!! arghs!!!!!!!!!!!!!